My oldest brother

I have been thinking of my brother Andy a lot lately. As most of you know, he is a very integral part of who I am. More than anyone, he has lived life to the fullest and enjoyed every moment. His happiness and love of life is contagious. He has taught me many things.

Andy has taught me to laugh often. I have so many funny stories of him growing up--probably my favorite is the time we were shopping for Easter clothes in JC Penney. I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. He went MIA--as usual--and then we heard over the loudspeaker, "Attention customers, we have a little lost boy up here. He says his name is Dorothy. Would his parents please come pick him up?" You see, Andy had a very active imagination. He would often take on the identity of his favorite character du jour, and that day it was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I also remember my mom saying immediately to my dad, "Kurt, YOU go." So funny.

Andy has taught me to always champion the underdog. As kids on the playground, you can rest assured that us Weilands were never the ones picking on the little guys. Rather, we were beating up the bullies and turning the tide. Andy helped us see the value in every individual, no matter their differences.

Andy has taught me that nothing is impossible. Andy taught himself to read. The schools didn't believe my mom, and refused to provide adequate education for him. I remember well sitting in our station wagon (it was okay to leave kids in the car back then) while my hero/mom went into the office of the North Carolina State Board of Education to demand better resources. That was just the beginning. Andy graduated from high school--he even went to prom! He earned his Eagle Scout award. He served a mission at the Humanitarian Center in Salt Lake City. My amazing brother has far surpassed the misguided doctor's expectations of him nearly 40 years ago.

Andy has taught me to hope for the resurrection. The day WILL come when my sweet brother will know how very much he means to me. I will be able to express my gratitude and love for him, and he will understand. This is possible through the resurrection of my Savior. All will be restored. I will see Andy as he really is, and our family will spend much of the rest of eternity laughing at the memories of our lives together on earth.

I have a very sweet friend who gave birth last week to a boy like Andy. As I visited her in the hospital, many tears were shed. Like Andy, her son is her first baby. And like my parents, she and her husband didn't see this coming. Until now, I hadn't given much thought to my parents' thoughts and feelings when Andy was born. Undoubtedly, it was a very emotional and overwhelming time for them. It is that way now for my friend. As I've thought about her, I've found some useful websites I want to pass along.

This explanation of what it's like to have a child with a disability is one of my favorites. I originally read it on a plaque at a park in Maryland designed for children of all abilities. It touches me every time I read it.

This speech is great for anyone who has a friend like my friend and doesn't know what to say or how to help. There really is nothing to be afraid of--showing love and sharing happiness goes a long way.

This site is designed for new parents of babies with down syndrome, but it is helpful for friends as well. I especially like the letter for new parents.

I am so thankful to see such great resources out there. A lot has changed in 40 years, and it's truly a gift to have help and understanding.

Recently my dad took Andy to the Apple store for some computer stuff. The clerk was especially attentive and kind to Andy as my dad took care of his errand. Sometime during the visit, the clerk explained to my dad, with tears in his eyes, that he had 'had' a son like Andy.

We don't know how long these beautiful angels will be with us. Having Andy as my brother has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.