Oprah was on today. I of course wasn't actually watching it. My Oprah-watching days are over. I simply hear snippets of it while doing laundry, washing dishes, checking on kids who are playing upstairs with friends, feeding the baby, etc. And this only when the TV isn't already monopolized by kids, which doesn't happen very often. So today was my day, I guess, and what I did catch was very intriguing.
There was this psycho-therapist guy, along with the famous Dr. Oz. I don't know how it came to be, but Oprah kept saying to keep an open mind (red flag #1). This therapist guy does some sort of hypnosis (red flag #2), and people regress (red flag #3) to their past-lives (you guessed it--red flag #4).
One guest was a funeral director (also a red flag??) who has always had dreams of flying and freaks out if anyone puts any sort of pressure on his chest. Under hypnosis, he gets in touch with his past-lives, and what do you know? He was a fighter pilot in some past war in another life and was shot down (hence the flying dreams), and he was once stuck in some sort of trash compactor, also in another life (hence the chest-pressure phobia).
Whatever, I don't totally buy it; but maybe this approach can explain some of my own idiosyncrasies:
#1 Kids bug me. I must have been a circus master back in the day when all the whacked out kids joined the circus. It was my job to make them into entertainers, and they drove me crazy. Either that, or I was a schoolteacher when they had one room schoolhouses and all the kids from the whole town were in there together. Not my idea of fun--not then, not now.
#2 I like to eat. Surely this problem of mine stems from a past-life when I lived during Old Testament times of famine. The manna from heaven got old really fast, so now I just can't make myself quit with a single granola bar (or cookie or handful of crackers or whatever).
#3 I'm habitually late. This one is easy--I lived in the era where there was no time. Clocks weren't even invented, and I liked it that way.
So you see, I have it all figured out, and I didn't even need hypnosis. What happened in your past-life?
Now if I could just figure out why my dear hubby throws his socks on the floor right next to the laundry basket, instead of actually in it . . .
13 comments:
You became my friend in my "past-life"... I don't know what I would do without your detective work & navigator skills!! I know I seriously drove you nuts today but, you gotta love me right!!?!?! :)
P.S. kids drive you nuts??...
You don't love it when kids drop food all over your back seat & fight all day??? ;)
Sarah I love you. In my past life I was a cat. (I really enjoy sleeping...it's a hobby) Hubby must have been blind in his past life hence not being able to see the laundry basket.
I think I must have lived back in San Francisco back in the gold rush days and been a worker in a Chinese laundry. Even with all the advances I still can't stand laundry.
Oh, I was also enlisted in the military and was a screw-up so I had to scrub toilets with a toothbrush...
What else can I explain away?
Oh, I love it! I never watch Oprah either but I did catch part of it yesterday. Wow, I just hope there are smarter people out there than to believe everything on that show.
I think that is hilarious about your past lives. So funny! I can't stop snickering.
I'm gonna be thinking all day about what Gav was in his past life...
For #3 you must have lived in Hawaii in your past life. I'm gonna have a hard time readjusting to life where things start on time.
I don't watch Oprah too often but I am so fascinated by polygamy that I will be taping today's show.
If I believed in the whole past-life scenario, it would be the cyclical way (is that Buddhist?) where you advance or regress based on your life's performance . . . I like to think that I did okay in my last life (because I was born in American in the church), but not well enough to have been born into a prophet's family. Now I have to really watch my p's and q's or I'll end up a sloth in my next life! ;)
I love this entry. It further demonstrates my point, which I was trying to tell Becca at women's conference-- Oprah is EVIL!! I mean, I love to watch her show and she is so uplifting in so many ways. But she doesn't have the whole truth, and it misleads people. I mean, what do I know? Maybe we did have past lives and we keep coming back until we get it right or maybe it is part of our eternal progression. But whatever the case, people out there are going to believe this stuff. Oprah isn't the prophet or the Pope or the Dali Lama (or how ever you spell that) so we need to be careful what we take to heart from her show. I'll get off my soap box now.
Ok, you are seriously one of the funniest people I know. Way to look at life from a different perspective. I'll have to think about my past lives.
Ha ha, so funny Sarah! Hey, now that you mention it, I remember you from my past life when we lived in the era without clocks.
Great post. What's with Oprah these days anyway?
Hehe i love your posts!! I see i am FINALLY on your list i feel loved!!! WOoo i love it Zany Zinkands
Sarah your posts are always super fun to read. You're so funny! I;m trying really hard to think of something I could have been in my past life, but I'm coming up blank. I'm sure I'll be doing someting tomorrow and think of you, so I'll be back to let you know what I came up with...
Hi Sarah! Funny!! In my past life all I know is that I wasn't on the fence! And I wasn't like Beethoven or Newton but maybe I helped create space! I've always wanted to be an astronaut...well, until I decided I was frightened of flying. Hmmm, I must've had a really bad experience up there somewhere!
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